Meet Dustin
I grew up going to church with my family. I never had a deep relationship with God, I basically attended church to appease my family and other people. As I became older, and was given the opportunity to make my own decisions, I was not making the best choices. I became bitter toward church and toward God. I was about 18 or 19 years old when I started smoking weed. I began drinking heavily and within a couple of months I had turned to harder drugs. Things spiraled from that point and I was kicked out of my home.
I started doing drugs to hang out with my friends, but eventually I was just doing drugs to do drugs. Drugs helped me avoid dealing with getting kicked out of my house, losing friends, and losing family. I found myself in trouble for burglarizing a house and ended up going to jail. My mom and I started talking again while I was in jail. She told me what I had to do to be able to come back home. I wouldn’t say I made life changes, I just did the things she asked so I could have a place to stay. It wasn’t long after getting out of jail that I started drinking and using drugs again.
I started a relationship in 2012 and we had a daughter together. When my daughter was born, I was scared because I didn’t think I was ready to be a good father. I had grown up without a dad and I worried about doing that to her, so I would drink to cope with everything. I didn’t feel I had the characteristics needed to take on the role of a dad, as they had not been modeled for me. My relationship with my daughter’s mother eventually ended due to my alcohol and drug use. More drugs covered up the emotions and pain of losing her, too. My daily use of drugs and alcohol continued for a couple of years. I was struggling to balance my unhealthy addictions and trying to look like I was okay on the outside.
I remember feeling like I had reached the bottom when I was fired from my job. I even felt kind of relieved that I wouldn’t have to go to work anymore. I just wanted to get home and get high. I knew that the drugs were going to make the feelings go away. I didn’t have any plans to get another job and I was ok with having to live in my car. It was like it just made sense to me that this is what my life had become. I ended up back in jail. This time when I talk to my mom I was finally able to admit to her, and myself, the extent of my addiction. I knew I needed help.
My uncle’s brother had gone through the mission’s program. We contacted him and told him that I was ready for a place to find recovery. I wasn’t sure how it all worked but I was ready. They talk about feeding your spirit at VRM, my spirit was starved. In my past, I would do a lot of things to try and please other people, not really doing things for myself. Here at the mission it has been about developing a relationship between Jesus and I. There is still a lot more to be done, but I have the tools and directions to finish the course I started. The healing process has started.
Today I can say at the very least I am not self-sabotaging or forming more harmful, unhealthy relationships. My daughter is in my life again, she is five years old. We are working on mending the relationship. My family seems proud of me and they are starting to trust me again. I’m staying connected to the mission through an apprenticeship. I think staying connected here will help keep me accountable. I wouldn’t have traded another program for the mission. So many lives are being affected by the mission.
The choices I was making just seemed insane and the relationships that I had were chaotic, every aspect of my life is different now.